In a tense meeting on the September 9 episode of 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, Shekinah and Sarper came face-to-face for the first time since a heated argument led Sarper to pull out Shekinah’s hair extensions.
The episode showed Shekinah agreeing to meet Sarper at a cafe after spending several nights in a hotel. During their conversation, Sarper began expressing his frustrations, which only aggravated Shekinah further.
“I can’t sleep,” Sarper told Shekinah. “I’m taking sleeping pills and still waking up. My mind won’t stop racing.”
Shekinah interrupted him sharply. “I don’t care about your problems caused by your actions,” she said. When Sarper questioned why she didn’t feel sorry for him, Shekinah responded, “Why should I feel sorry for you when you should feel sorry for what you did?”
The conflict had escalated days earlier when Shekinah rejected the vanity Sarper had chosen for her. “Sarper, you ripped my hair extension out of my head,” she said. “Have you even asked if my head is okay?” Shekinah dismissed Sarper’s claim of it being an “accident,” stating that his anger had changed her perception of him.
She warned Sarper that her feelings could drastically change overnight if his behavior persisted. “Eventually, my emotions towards you might completely shift,” she said, expressing her desire to avoid this outcome.
Sarper acknowledged his overreaction, attributing it to stress about their future and the pressure of informing his family about his K-1 fiancé visa application. He pleaded with Shekinah, “Help me, show me the way,” but she replied, “No. You’re a grown man.”
Shekinah admitted feeling foolish and regretting her decision to be with Sarper. “I feel like I made a mistake and that my friends and family were right,” she said.
Sarper expressed his desire not to throw away their year together. However, Shekinah conveyed the depth of her hurt from his anger issues. “Love is not enough,” she said tearfully.
Shekinah reflected on a past relationship with someone who, despite being “perfect,” had a “bad temper” that made her fearful. Comparing this to her current relationship with Sarper, she noted that it made her regret their arguments even more. “She had to tell me, but I never let her tell me about the past,” Sarper admitted in a confessional. “And that’s my fault.”
Sarper then told Shekinah, “I love you more than I love myself.” Shekinah decided to forgive him but made it clear that any further display of his bad side would end their relationship. “Sarper is 43 years old and has never been held accountable in a relationship,” Shekinah said. “That ends here. He’s lucky I love him enough to give him a second chance.”
Shekinah also revealed her concerns, given her history with toxic relationships. “I’m putting my foot down because I’m a mother,” she said. “I wouldn’t want my daughter to tolerate this kind of disrespect.”
Shekinah insisted that Sarper seek therapy both with her and on his own to manage his emotions. Sarper promised to focus on improving their relationship moving forward. “I want to believe he can do this,” Shekinah shared. “The only way he can show he has learned anything is by changing, and I believe he will if he loves me as much as he says he does.”